by David Quinney | Jun 27, 2023 | News
School anxiety and refusal has the potential to be very challenging for both children and parents. Young people can feel anxious about school for lots of different reasons. They might be worried about making friends or fitting in, find schoolwork or lessons confusing, feel pressured to learn in a certain way or find their relationships with teachers difficult. Sometimes, going through difficult experiences outside of school – such as parents separating, a family bereavement, an illness in the family or being a young carer – can also make it harder for a child to feel settled at school.
Here are some ways you can support your child and help them navigate through these tough times:
- Open and empathetic communication: Create a safe and non-judgmental space for your child to express their feelings and concerns. Listen attentively, validate their emotions, and show empathy. Avoid dismissing their fears or forcing them to go to school without addressing their anxieties.
- Try to understand the root cause: Talk to your child to understand the underlying reasons for their school anxiety and refusal. It could be related to academic pressure, social issues, bullying, or other factors. Identifying the cause will help you find appropriate solutions.
- Collaborate with the school: Establish a partnership with your child’s school. Communicate your concerns with teachers, counsellors, or the school administration. They may have insights into your child’s behaviour at school and can offer support or accommodations if necessary.
- Develop a gradual exposure plan: Instead of pushing your child to face their fears all at once, work together to create a step-by-step plan for gradually reintroducing them to school. Start with small, manageable steps, such as visiting the school grounds or attending for shorter periods, and gradually increase the time spent at school.
- Provide reassurance and positive reinforcement: Offer consistent reassurance to your child that they are safe, supported and it’s normal to feel like this. Acknowledge their efforts and achievements, no matter how small. Celebrate their progress and highlight their strengths to boost their self-confidence.
- Teach coping strategies: Help your child develop effective coping mechanisms to manage anxiety. Breathing exercises, mindfulness techniques, or engaging in hobbies and activities they enjoy can help reduce stress and promote relaxation.
- Seek professional help if needed: If your child’s school anxiety and refusal persist or worsen despite your efforts, consider seeking professional help. A therapist, psychologist, or counsellor experienced in working with children can provide specialised guidance and interventions.
- Encourage a healthy lifestyle: Ensure your child gets enough sleep, eats nutritious meals, and engages in physical activities regularly. A healthy lifestyle can positively impact their overall well-being, including their ability to cope with stress and anxiety.
- Promote social connections: Encourage your child to maintain friendships and participate in social activities outside of school. Strong social connections can provide a support system and enhance their overall emotional well-being.
- Be patient and understanding: Remember that overcoming school anxiety and refusal takes time. Be patient with your child’s progress and avoid placing undue pressure on them. Let them know that you are there to support them throughout the process.
Remember, every child’s needs are unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Nobody knows your child as you do, consider tailoring your approach based on what you feel your child needs and consult with a trusted professional when necessary.
by David Quinney | May 16, 2023 | News
1 Focus on your breathing. When you’re having anxious thoughts try focusing on your breathing, concentrating on the feeling of your body as you breathe in and out. It can help you control the thought.
4-7-8 breathing technique Close your mouth and quietly breathe in through your nose, counting to four in your head. Hold your breath and count to seven. Breathe out through your mouth, making a whoosh sound while counting to eight. Repeat three more times for a total of four breath cycles. Some people find relaxation exercises work too, while others find mindfulness useful.
2 Get moving. Exercise is a good way of dealing with anxiety, it doesn’t have to be vigorous; try some gentle stretches, yoga, or seated exercises. Or just go for a walk. Going for a run, swimming, or taking part in a fitness class can give you something else to think about. Any amount of exercise will help.
3 Keep a diary or a journal. It’s important that we don’t try to ignore our worries. Taking the time to keep a record of what’s happening in your life and how it’s affecting you can help you understand what is triggering your feelings of anxiety. Knowing this can help you better prepare for and manage situations that may cause anxiety. Sometimes it helps to give yourself a certain time of day to be your ‘worry time’. It could be half an hour first thing in the morning to sit with your worries and write them down in your diary. When that’s out of the way, you can move on with the rest of your day. This can help you take control and stop anxiety from getting in the way of what you want to do.
4 Challenge your thoughts. Anxiety can lead us to think about things repeatedly in our brain. This is called ‘rumination’ and it’s not helpful. When you catch yourself ruminating try to write down the thought and to challenge it. Is what you’re worrying about likely to happen? Are you being realistic? Have you had similar thoughts which have not turned into reality? This can make it easier to challenge your thoughts and stop them from overwhelming you.
5 Get support for money worries. A common cause of anxiety is money. If you’re worried about money, try talking to a member of your family or a trusted friend.
6 Spend time in nature. We know that spending time in nature has a positive impact on our mental health. It can help us feel calmer and less stressed. This can be as simple as tending some flowers in a window box or going for a walk in the woods. Any amount of time doing this is good for us, but to really get the benefit, try to spend a significant period of time – maybe an hour or longer – when you can really connect with nature and immerse yourself.
7 Connect with people and talk about how you feel. Anxiety can feel very lonely. Connecting with other people can help a lot. Spend time with friends or meet other people through activities such as volunteering, sport or social clubs, or peer support groups. If you’re able to talk to people about how you feel, it can help to reduce your anxiety. Sometimes saying what’s worrying you out loud can take away its power over you.
8 Try to get some quality sleep or rest. Resting and having a good night’s sleep is hard when your head is full of worries but there are some things that can help. If anxious thoughts keep you awake, write them down in your diary. If sleep is still not coming, get up and have a drink (nothing with caffeine!) and wait until you’re feeling more tired before going back to bed. Keeping a note in your diary of your sleep patterns, what time you went to bed, what you ate, how often you woke up etc can help you work out a routine that will help you get better quality sleep.
9 Try to eat a healthy diet. For many of us, feeling anxious might cause us to reach for sugary snacks, junk food or alcohol. It’s important that we don’t turn to unhealthy foods or drinks as a way to cope as they will do more damage in the longer term. Similarly, we should avoid smoking or taking recreational drugs. Eating healthy food regularly helps us to regulate our blood sugar and gives us the energy we need to live well. Remember caffeine in coffee, tea, and fizzy drinks can affect your mood and cause sleep problems so it’s best to have these in moderation and not too close to bedtime.
